This would have been my mama's ninety-first birthday. Unfortunately, she died October 26, 2005. She had suffered from Alzheimer's for almost a year; it did not progress gradually as the doctor had said it would. It moved rapidly, by April 2005, she did not recognize me, her only child. By June, she had stopped speaking in sentences; she could no longer walk on her own, or feed herself. By early fall, she stared off into space and ate little.
Then on Sunday, October 23, as I prepared to return to my home in Virginia; she called to me as I stood in the doorway talking to my Dad, about her prognosis. She called me by name and then told me she loved me! I had not heard my mama call me by name in six months, and I must admit it took me aback.
I went to her, told her I loved her also, and I would be back the next weekend. She smiled at me and said, "OK." Then she drifted away from me again.
The following Wednesday afternoon, I had the call I had tried to prepare myself to handle for over a year. She was at the ER, come quickly, it was not good.
I prayed and broke traffic laws, but I was too late. She passed away, ten minutes before I arrived. For the longest time, I carried the guilt that I had not been there for her passing.
I now realize, I was not supposed to be there. She spent the last hour or so of her life, as clear, as if nothing had taken her from us. She spent that time with my daddy talking about leaving and how much she loved him did not want to go. It was their time, not mine. I had mine on Sunday afternoon.
They began their life together fifty-two years before, without me; it was only fitting that they have the last few hours together, as a couple, just as they began the journey in 1953.
I miss my mama more each day. I seem to need her more, the older I become. However, I refuse to lead a sad existence.
I, in no way, want you to think this blog will always be depressing, but I had to tell you about the later part of my mom's life today on her 91st birthday.
There will be other memories I will share about my family, growing up in the south in the sixties and seventies and some days wanderings that have little or no connection to me, but things I want to write.
I hope you enjoy my musings and visit from time to time.
You'll always be welcome!
Sherry
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